Favorite Quotes

ScarlettScarlett Member
edited July 2012 in The Guild
Share your favorite quotes/lines from The Guild!

I have a soft spot for Clara's clueless brilliance; I blame Robin for her fantastic delivery and comic timing. These are some of my favorite gems:

"So let's cut to the chase. When can we arrange the humpity bumpity?"

"I was always so into Chuck Norris. I wanted his moustache all over my body."

"These aren't hams I'm smugging!"
Cheeky gamine gamin' geek. Gingers FTW!
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  • "I never pictured Vork being bald. He's so confident on the mic."
    "You can't be bald and confident?"
    "Umm, your scalp is out all the time."
    "...."
    "Yeah, I stole your sweet roll. What are you gonna do about it?"
    "Sweet Mother, sweet Mother-"
    "..."
  • torontogaltorontogal Member, Moderator
    edited July 2012 PM
    Great thread, @Scarlett!  I think I need to put more thought into this, as this show is so ridiculously quotable that there's like 100's of lines that belong on T-shirts :)

    Am I allowed to simply open my quotation marks at the first line of Season 1, and close my quotation marks at the end of Season 5?  In essence, quote the entire show's dialogue as the best quote ever?

    Thinking about the above, I actually had a bit of a light-bulb moment - over on YouTube, I was rambling about how from a character growth/development perspective, S5 worked as a great bookend for the series. By the end, each character had made positive growth towards conquering certain flaws/foibles that they started out with.

    *spoiler alert for those who haven't seen S5*

    What I never stopped to think about is that the very first piece of dialogue from the show is Codex talking about how it's Friday night and she's jobless - and the very last piece of dialogue from S5 is her making reference to maybe landing her dream-job!  It's kind of brilliant how there's a mirroring between those two pieces of dialogue - it's the mark of a great show, where you notice new layers the more you think about it!  Like everyone, I'm anticipating a S6, but I greatly admire how Felicia wrote S5 in a way that it could be such a satisfying series-wrap.

    Back to the topic on hand - I cracked up at Tink's monologue about using men as tools.  I don't necessarily agree with her sentiment, but the wording and the delivery was too funny!
  • "Did you borrow my crayon set? and my MIND?"
  • VespaVespa Member
    Men and Women according to 'The Guild':

    "Warning, women in general only yield short term returns, they are not a suitable vehicle for long term investments. Also in my experience, very low drop rate."
    ~Vork

    "Men are meant to be used for their skill sets. Need to pass a biology test? Date a biologist, or your biology TA. They dont even need names as far as Im concered. Fred, Joe, and Ryan might as well be called moving van, pharmacist, and oil change. You just have to pick the right tool for the right job, and believe me, they're all tools."
    ~Tink

    I sometimes vlog about craft beer... http://www.youtube.com/user/theshaunapiranha
  • "I just banged your mom"
  • There are so many great ones.

    I'm particulalry liking 'it's a party for our colons!' at the moment - I used to have green drinks myself.
    Author, blogger, good egg. http://bit.ly/DuncanMc
     
  • Vork: "I have to say Mrs Zaboo -"
    Avinashi: "Avinashi."
    Vork: "I'll never remember that."
    -------
    Zaboo: "Huh, that's really interesting...and DELETE!"
    Valkyrie: "OH! Not my long sword! You tiny monster."
    Codex: "He's naked. You *killed* his outfit."
    Zaboo: "Sorry, fabric boy."
    "Yeah, I stole your sweet roll. What are you gonna do about it?"
    "Sweet Mother, sweet Mother-"
    "..."
  • These are all so great, guys! =) And @Tacamam, I love the improved line from that scene: "Your breath is hot." Gets me every time!
    Cheeky gamine gamin' geek. Gingers FTW!
    http://twitter.com/scarlettopia
  • The look on his face... He got the gibblies.

    Last donation of favorite quotes today:

    "Worst.  Loot.  Ever."
    "Yeah, I stole your sweet roll. What are you gonna do about it?"
    "Sweet Mother, sweet Mother-"
    "..."
  • Everything codex says to her webcam in the beginning of every episode! 
    For example- "Nothing makes you proactive like watching someone try to hang themselves" 
    and "Grandma was right. Guys think a woman is just a life-support system for a vagina." :D

  • RileyRiley Member
    I always find that the "It's so much easier to measure life inexperience points" line seems applicable to my life.
  • Not my favorite, but sadly, it really speaks to me. Especially since I had to drag myself to work Sunday morning at 6:30am for glorious mandatory overtime:

    "Working is soul-crushing. I can't believe adults live like this." Bladezz

     Otherwise, pretty much anything by Vork. This one from season three is one of my favorite:

    Zaboo, you have choosen not to accompany us. But be aware that you are now dead to me as a human being. And were I to be in a situtiation where I had to choose between saving you or a dog from drowning; I would drown you in order to save the dog, which I would not even care to keep but would afterwords place in a non abusive home.

     

    twitter: https://twitter.com/kristinbytes
    blog: kristinbytes.com
    It's mostly about videos I watch. On the interwebs.
  • GAH! So many good quotes, but for some reason my favorite is "Being a girl is such hard work!" (Probably cause of the face she is making while she says it.... and because it speaks to me lol)

    Another one is when Clara is telling the story to her kids at the beginning of season 2.  "Once upon a time the baby little chicken went to his mommy and said 'MOMMY his shields are down, nuke his face off!' and the mom, well she said 'Cluck cluck. CLUCK I'M DYING!'"
    Former Intern. Forever a Fan.

    Current status: Workaholic @ welovefine.com
  • I can't remember exactly, but at one point Codex says: "silly humans, it's about the game, not each other"
    Twitter: @gtaylor619
  • "Call me" "I'll Skype, it's free" - Vork, you silver tongued charmer...
    Professional curmudgeon, lover of film, music, comics, politics, books, and just about everything else
    Twitter: @old_red_dog
    G+: Old Red Dog
    Tumblr: I've Got T-Shirts Older Than You
  • "One, day Vork decided to smoke a doobie and his whole left hemisphere of his brain disappeared from his stupid bald head. Then, he gave the guild bank to Bladezz. The end."

    Just one of my favorite quotes. Will put up more later.
  • Codex: I think being in a guild satisfies one of my secret wishes: to be in a gang.

    Zaboo: Clara, you're a dog, like.. a drowning dog. I'm gonna drownnnn you. I'm gonna kill you, and you're gonna learn to- how does this go?

    Clara: Whoa! You boffed him after only one date? Achievement unlocked.
  • Codex: I think being in a guild satisfies one of my secret wishes: to be in a gang.

    Zaboo: Clara, you're a dog, like.. a drowning dog. I'm gonna drownnnn you. I'm gonna kill you, and you're gonna learn to- how does this go?

    Clara: Whoa! You boffed him after only
  • Lots of brilliant ones, but this one springs easily to mind:

    Vork: Women - can't live with them, they will not go out with me.
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  • Daniel_WallaceDaniel_Wallace Member, Moderator
    I just re-watched season 6 and realized the brilliance of this one from episode 12:

    Vork: Codex! Health!
    Codex: I've got nothing but hand sanitizer!

    Link

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